Eye'm All Puckered Up

Pretzels!

2012-01-25T21:11:00.009-07:00

We used this recipe, Homemade Soft Pretzels by Alton Brown. Recipe below.

Youngest trying to figure out how to roll out the dough.

Help from dad..

Success! Heart shaped pretzel from my sweet boy :)

Before the water bath.

Water bath.

After the water bath.. waiting for the oven.
A little pretzel mishap on that cookie sheet.. oops!

Success!!! I also made Mornay sauce with extra sharp cheddar to dip our pretzels in *drool*

Homemade Soft Pretzels Recipe courtesy Alton Brown, 2007
Ingredients

1 1/2 cups warm (110 to 115 degrees F) water
1 tablespoon sugar
2 teaspoons kosher salt
1 package active dry yeast
22 ounces all-purpose flour, approximately 4 1/2 cups
2 ounces unsalted butter, melted
Vegetable oil, for pan
10 cups water
2/3 cup baking soda
1 large egg yolk beaten with 1 tablespoon water
Pretzel salt

Directions

Combine the water, sugar and kosher salt in the bowl of a stand mixer and sprinkle the yeast on top. Allow to sit for 5 minutes or until the mixture begins to foam. Add the flour and butter and, using the dough hook attachment, mix on low speed until well combined. Change to medium speed and knead until the dough is smooth and pulls away from the side of the bowl, approximately 4 to 5 minutes. Remove the dough from the bowl, clean the bowl and then oil it well with vegetable oil. Return the dough to the bowl, cover with plastic wrap and sit in a warm place for approximately 50 to 55 minutes or until the dough has doubled in size.

Preheat the oven to 450 degrees F. Line 2 half-sheet pans with parchment paper and lightly brush with the vegetable oil. Set aside.

Bring the 10 cups of water and the baking soda to a rolling boil in an 8-quart saucepan or roasting pan.

In the meantime, turn the dough out onto a slightly oiled work surface and divide into 8 equal pieces. Roll out each piece of dough into a 24-inch rope. Make a U-shape with the rope, holding the ends of the rope, cross them over each other and press onto the bottom of the U in order to form the shape of a pretzel. Place onto the parchment-lined half sheet pan.

Place the pretzels into the boiling water, 1 by 1, for 30 seconds. Remove them from the water using a large flat spatula. Return to the half sheet pan, brush the top of each pretzel with the beaten egg yolk and water mixture and sprinkle with the pretzel salt. Bake until dark golden brown in color, approximately 12 to 14 minutes. Transfer to a cooling rack for at least 5 minutes before serving.

Serious stuff

2012-01-23T06:45:00.002-07:00

I'm surprised so many people are unaware what SOPA/PIPA is. Sure, you've heard of it and you sort of maybe know. You try to google but there are 845834593857984 hits. This video is the best video I've seen on breaking it down so it's understandable for, well, people like me. Please watch. It's only 15 minutes long.

How I spent my weekend

2012-01-22T19:35:00.003-07:00

So, I sort of hit a wall this weekend, and by "wall" I mean "nervous breakdown". I figured at the funny farm I'd just sit around between therapy sessions in my jammies and slippers and work on jigsaw puzzles so to complete the whole breakdown thing I had going on, we dug out a puzzle. It really is good therapy ;)

lazy

2012-01-22T09:07:00.001-07:00

He could at least pick up the swiffer and dust... and maybe you know, throw away the skittles wrapper since he's clearly finished with it..

Worn out

2012-01-20T20:42:00.004-07:00

This not-so-little guy passed out while waiting for dinner. He's been getting up super early all week. His sister has early morning volleyball practice and he likes to tag along and shoot hoops. I think the week of 6:00 a.m. wake-ups has done him in :)

This is what I found when I sat down to read..

I had a rough day today. Had my feelings hurt at work over something silly but obviously not silly to me if my feelings were hurt.

Then, I was volunteered to help someone with a task and I haven't had time to do the task. Well, this person was disappointed today when I told him I hadn't had a chance to do this task and he came and took the stuff back and I had planned to do the audit this weekend at home, on my own time, for free. I hate letting people down. I'm struggling with the fact I disappointed someone today and the fact that I was volunteered to do this task and it was one of those situations where I couldn't say no the person who volunteered me. Doormat. I'm a doormat. Blah. Why do I do this to myself?

Oh and then, you all know how awful my memory is and how much I struggle with remembering stuff, well today I had a conversation with someone and was so shocked when I was told an incident I was questioning had happened a few weeks ago and not last Friday like I was so 100000000000000% certain it had.

People, I have lost an ENTIRE WEEK. No recollection. None. Nada. Zip. This has left me feeling like once again, I am seriously going crazy. I will be admitted soon with a thorazine drip. No joke. I can not tell you how unsettled this has left me. I've been struggling lately with so much and worried I was really going crazy and losing my mind and then THIS happens. Jeeeez! I just hope I can do my crazy time at The Betty. I can work on my Bombay Sapphire addiction at the same time. Win-win I say.

Stuff

2012-01-18T20:27:00.002-07:00

Whatcha lookin' at, my sweet boy? You look slightly amused..

Ohhhhh dear...

Blue..

Side note: She's taught herself to play the sax so she can play in pep band. Add that to the flute and piano and she's a one (wo)man band :)

Heheh

2012-01-13T07:03:00.001-07:00

Ahhhhh mommy, I love you!

For my mommy!

2012-01-10T19:25:00.006-07:00

Sis, right click and open the pics in a new window so they'll be larger for mom.. XOXO!

This is them trying to smile for a "nice" picture..

This is their normal state..

The best sugar cookie EVER!

2012-01-09T20:08:00.006-07:00

So, I found this sugar cookie recipe and seriously, it is fantastic! I am out of icing sugar so we put sprinkles on them before baking. I think they will be even better when frosted!

The kids goofed off while I rolled the dough and baked :) I even snapped a picture of Teenagersaurus smiling! Actually, he smiles all the time! Lately, he's been giving me a hard time about facing the camera. I'll take what I can get for now. Then there's the 10 year old.. he JUMPS in front of the camera and the 12 year old tolerates me in a "isn't-she-cute-she's-playing-with-the-camera-again" sort of way.

Tonight's sunset

2012-01-08T17:25:00.001-07:00

Ten years

2012-01-07T22:44:00.000-07:00

I miss you Dad.

Yummmmm

2012-01-07T19:53:00.003-07:00

Ayup.

Fun!

2012-01-05T06:10:00.003-07:00

This has been circulating on facebook for a little while now. The number one song on the day you were born.

Mine
In the year 2525 by Zager & Evans

My dad
GLENN MILLER & His Orchestra: The Woodpecker Song

Mom
Tommy Dorsey - I'll Never Smile Again

Sister
Smokey Robinson & The Miracles-The Tears Of A Clown

Go here to find yours!

Upside Down Boy. Lounging Princess. Neon Drummer.

2012-01-04T18:59:00.005-07:00

Giant

2012-01-03T20:00:00.003-07:00

Artisan bread!

2012-01-02T20:36:00.006-07:00

Made in the dutch oven! YUM! This recipe here is very similar to the one I use. My cooking times are sometimes a little bit longer.. 35 minutes with the lid on and 20 or so with the lid off. Very easy and soooo good!

We ate it with homemade ham and bean soup. I don't really have a recipe for that. I always toss ingredients into a stock pot and cook. I soaked white beans for a few hours. Dumped the water and rinsed the beans. Added fresh water, onion, carrots, celery, chicken stock, a ham bone, pepper, chili powder, big can of diced tomatoes, and garlic. Cooked for several hours until the beans are tender. I removed the ham bone and stirred in cut up ham I'd taken from the bone earlier. Heated a little longer and I added a little bit more water because it looked low after I removed the ham bone. It was really tasty! I added some Tabasco to mine. There are a lot of recipes on Allrecipes that will give you exact measurements. I always read several recipes and sort of create my own. I haven't messed up yet in my 30+ yeas of soup making so I must be doing something right :)

Oh and here's a funny from tonight.. The eldest wearing a funky hat and he looks really good as a girl!

Sweet girl makes cakes too

2012-01-01T20:37:00.002-07:00

1/1/12 new year meme

2012-01-01T16:13:00.005-07:00

Right now I'm feeling... content

When I'm alone I feel... peaceful

When I'm surrounded by people I feel... anxious

One thing I hate is... ignorance

One thing I really like about myself is ... my wit

When I'm feeling sad I... cry

When I daydream it's usually about... the future

I'm afraid of... failure

I'm happiest when... I'm not worrying!

One thing that really worries me is ... disappointing others

If I could change one thing about myself it would be... not be so anxious

If I could be with anyone right now I would be with... you

The family member I am closest to is... my sister

If I was really honest with my father I would tell him... it's alright

One thing I regret about my life is... not standing up for myself when I should have

If I only had one more day to live I would... spend it with my loves

If I was really honest with my mother I would tell her... how much she hurt me

One thing about me that nobody knows is... I sometimes think I am going insane, for real.

I hope that someday in the future... I'll get it figured out

When I think about my family I feel... warm

Something I'm really embarrassed about is... my scar

One thing about me I never want to change is... my ability to laugh even when things are shit

One thing I feel really proud of is... what great humans my children are!

So, I've been reading

2011-12-26T00:15:00.005-07:00

I've been reading back in my archives and I used to be really funny! Where the hell did that go? So much shit I slogged through this year and I'm afraid I've gotten lost.

Also, I have the world's shittiest memory and am re-reading this stuff like it's the first time... kinda crazy. Kinda making me feel like I'm a tad bit nuts.

Speaking of nuts, I took a break from reading Jitterbug Perfume to read Miss Peregrine's Home for Peculiar Children. OMG what a great book! Captured my imagination early on and I could not put it down! While it was a very light and easy read, I LOVED it and was sad it ended and I had to say goodbye to the characters. I love books like that! I'm back to Jitterbug again and while I am enjoying it, I'm really struggling with the slowness that I've encountered in the middle of the story. I'll keep at it though because it's supposed to get better.

I saved that first part up there last night as a draft.. I read some more in Jitterbug today and it's starting to come together. I'm halfway through it and I'm glad I stuck it out.

This is my favorite Christmas picture this year!

So that's my random ramblings for the day! Maybe tomorrow I'll be funny again?

2011-12-18T21:36:00.005-07:00

Happy National Cupcake Day!

2011-12-15T18:08:00.002-07:00

My new favorite holiday! I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE cupcakes! LOVE them! They are such a delight to me!

What kind of cupcake will you have today?

YES!

2011-12-14T23:31:00.001-07:00

Daydreamer

2011-12-12T21:50:00.002-07:00

XOXO!

Delightful!

2011-12-11T12:33:00.007-07:00

In no particular order..

Croissants
Coffee
Fresh picked flowers
You
Sunshine
Moist Chocolate Cake
My children's laughter
Hearty laughter in general
Hot tea
The smell of Night Blooming Jasmine
Cupcakes
Soft kisses
A long soak in a hot bath
Gin ;)
A good book
Music
Candles
Christmas lights
Green grass
Hugging a tree
The Pacific
Holding hands
Star gazing
Meditating

Happiness Revealed

2011-11-25T06:57:00.003-07:00

Bon Iver - Holocene

2011-11-23T06:43:00.002-07:00

Holocene

“Someway, baby, it’s part of me, apart from me.”
you’re laying waste to Halloween
you fucked it friend,
it’s on it’s head,
it struck the street
you’re in Milwaukee,off your feet

…and at once I knew I was not magnificent
strayed above the highway aisle
(jagged vacance, thick with ice)
I could see for miles, miles, miles

3rd and Lake it burnt away, the hallway
was where we learned to celebrate
automatic bought the years you’d talk for me
that night you played me 'Lip Parade'
not the needle, nor the thread, the lost decree
saying nothing, that’s enough for me

…and at once I knew I was not magnificent
hulled far from the highway aisle
(jagged, vacance, thick with ice)
I could see for miles, miles, miles

Christmas night,
it clutched the light,
the hallow bright
above my brother,
I and tangled spines
we smoked the screen to make
it what it was to be
now to know it in my memory:

…and at once I knew I was not magnificent
high above the highway aisle
(jagged vacance, thick with ice)
I could see for miles, miles, miles

Dreams & Things

2011-11-13T09:39:00.002-07:00

Serene

2011-11-09T20:15:00.003-07:00

I love this..

2011-11-06T00:39:00.003-06:00

OOhhh WANT!!

2011-10-17T20:16:00.004-06:00

How much fun would it be to jump off that swing onto the bed? And I totally see myself doing that.. and then when I fall off and hurt myself or miss the bed completely and face plant right on the floor, I can crawl to my bathtub right there! SEE!!! PERFECT!

Patience

2011-10-11T22:01:00.004-06:00

I need some.. patience means surrendering to what IS while I'm waiting for what I WISH to arrive.. Read that on the interwebs.. LOVE it.

I need to remember that.. I have a few things going on right now and I want them to hurry hurry hurry so I can get going! I feel I'm in limbo and me no likey. I was cranky and crying today and feeling frustrated about my lack of forward movement. I realized after a phone call tonight that I haven't mediated in a few weeks.. that's a problem. Maybe I'd be able to deal with this waiting a little better if I'd meditate.. So Great Bell Chant, here I come!

I know these things will happen for me.. I just need to chill out a bit and remember I'm supported and loved.. I have some pretty great cheerleaders right now too.. Thankful for them <3

BWAHAHAHAHA LOLOLOLOL OMFG

2011-09-22T13:42:00.002-06:00

MY MACHINE WORKS, DAVID. MY MACHINE WORKS, AND WE ARE ABOUT TO HAVE A VERY IMPORTANT DISCUSSION ABOUT YOUR IMMEDIATE FUTURE.

DO YOU REMEMBER WHEN YOU HAD ME DECLAWED, DAVID? BECAUSE I DO.

Props to ANIMALS TALKING IN ALL CAPS

Love this

2011-09-18T09:19:00.000-06:00

Wholehearted living

"Choosing authenticity is an act of resistance.

Choosing to live and love with our WholeHearts is an act of defiance.

You’re going to confuse, piss-off, and terrify lots of people – including yourself. One minute you'll pray that the transformation ends, and the next minute you’ll pray that it never ends. "

OMG YES! Exactly!

LOVE

2011-09-14T22:20:00.000-06:00

My heart..

2011-09-09T20:03:00.000-06:00

Today..

2011-08-27T12:23:00.001-06:00

Outside my window...

Smokey skies.

I am thinking...

About my niece.

I am thankful for...

Your love..

From the kitchen...

Coffee.

I am wearing...

Nothing fun.. Still in my jammies!

I am creating...

Something wonderful.

I am going...

To get up soon.. I promise!

I am reading...

Still reading.. September's book club pick, A Place Called Freedom, by Ken Follett Not digging it.. kinda fluffy. I'm hoping it picks up.

I am hoping...

For answers.

I am hearing...

My Andrew playing drums...

Around the house...

Children lying about reading and watching movies.

One of my favorite things...

Stillness.

A few plans for the rest of the week:

A little of this and a little of that...

Here is a picture for today...

She delights me! This is from my friend Linden's blog..

Serendipity

2011-08-21T16:24:00.006-06:00

Serendipity is when someone finds something that they weren't expecting to find. ... In the simplest of words, it means a "happy accident".

This according to wikipedia.. ya ya I know.. fucking wikipedia. I like it though. Like what it says. I'm not sure about the accident part.. I think it's more kismet.

Sometimes things happen to me that are so unexpectedly wonderful, they leave me breathless.

I cherish those moments.

They give me hope.

Makes me want.

I believe my path has been laid out in front of me.

I hope I have the guts to wander down it.

swoon

2011-08-17T20:06:00.000-06:00

Mmmmmm

2011-08-16T22:08:00.002-06:00

Standing at the shoreline.. tide pulling at my feet.. this on my ipod.. bliss.. This makes my soul soar..

Mad photography skillz

2011-08-15T09:58:00.004-06:00

I haz em..

Happiness

2011-08-13T21:26:00.003-06:00

Today, August 11th

2011-08-11T16:39:00.005-06:00

Outside my window...

Amber waves of grain.

I am thinking...

Where I was three years ago and where I am today.

I am thankful for...

My loves.

From the kitchen...

Spicy popcorn.

I am wearing...

A heavy heart.

I am creating...

A legacy.

I am going...

To have a cocktail soon.

I am reading...

The Help but am stopping to read September's book club pick, A Place Called Freedom, by Ken Follett

I am hoping...

For a peaceful heart.

I am hearing...

What I don't want to see...

Around the house...

Dust bunnies.

One of my favorite things...

Laughter.

A few plans for the rest of the week:

Taking care of my buddy and celebrating my birthday.

Here is a picture for today...

Three years ago, when everything changed..

On this day

2011-07-19T19:52:00.006-06:00

We should be celebrating a birthday.

I keep thinking (maybe hoping) that as time passes, the pain and the missing him would lessen.

Doesn't happen.

At all.

Ever.

Period.

I think of him and the tears instantly form, my eyes get hot and I get a lump in my throat and my heart is heavy.

I wasn't sure what to write tonight and Daydreamer solved that dilemma.

Home Improvement = Life Improvement

2011-07-10T09:03:00.004-06:00

Why is it a few home improvement projects and a little rearranging can make you feel like a million bucks?

We are all feeling calmer.

Centered.

Life has been pretty hectic lately.. a lot going on. Many things to think about. None of it pleasant. Tough decisions. In spite of all this, we've plowed through and preserved and feel better for it.

There is now positive energy flowing through my home. It's needed. Desperately needed and such a welcome gift. Walking into my home last night, I could feel it. I hope we can draw on this chi and proceed a little more clear headed.

Tizer Gardens

2011-07-04T22:18:00.007-06:00

Took the kids to visit Tizer Gardens. Unfortunately, our recent flooding knocked out most of the gardens. We will return when they rebuild. Our tour was a quick one so after we left we toured the Capitol Building. A few pictures of our adventures.

So much water!

Children's Garden destroyed.

The Meditation Garden and everything else back there is inaccessible right now.
Beauty still abounds.

The Peeps.

ingenuity

2011-07-03T23:12:00.004-06:00

in·ge·nu·i·ty

[in-juh-noo-i-tee, -nyoo-]

1. the quality of being cleverly inventive or resourceful; inventiveness: a designer of great ingenuity.

2. cleverness or skillfulness of conception or design: a device of great ingenuity.

3. an ingenious contrivance or device.

Yes folks, that is a hammock underneath her bed. Yes indeed. She found it cleaning out the pool house, hatched a plan and made it work.

Happy girl :)

Stop-stop boots

2011-07-03T20:25:00.002-06:00

Serene

2011-06-21T16:21:00.001-06:00

I should be worried..

2011-06-18T19:28:00.005-06:00

My sweet girl who we lovingly refer to as Kerri Strug because she's built like a gymnast.. anyway, she's out riding her bike and I get the following text message from her..

KS: i am looking at two dead birds and a dead cat......... make that 3 birds and something unidentifiable........ but all fresh

Me: Where are you?

KS: about 150 yards north of the house

Me: Ok, I'm walking down the road now.

KS: MURDER SCENE

LOLOLOL I laughed so hard at this text exchange, I had tears streaming down my cheeks. I am still tickled! Obviously, or I wouldn't be blahging about it!

For years we've been saying she'll either grow up to solve murders like Bones, or she'll be a serial killer like Dexter. She says all the time she wants to study forensic sciences and then she gives us a sideways glance and finishes the comment with "You know, like Bones... or... Dexter."

We only think she is half kidding.

What they found was a dead cat, 2 dead chickens and a dead rabbit.. well maybe it's a rabbit. We couldn't tell. It was partially hidden in the tall grasses along the ditch bank. There is now much speculation about what killed these animals and why were all four of them scattered along the ditch bank in the same spot? They are talking about setting up a stakeout so they can monitor what's been going on down there. Coyote? Wolf? Eagle? Alien? Smiling Gene Kelly started looking for crop circles nearby.

I have the coolest kids EVER. Period.

Official Crime Scene Photo of the Criminal Investigative Team.

Only my kids would try and ride a scooter on a gravel road.

Big brain!

2011-06-15T21:02:00.002-06:00

Girlie goofing off in the basement.. found a large magnifier and the photos that ensued were hilarious. This is my favorite!

Life

2011-06-11T19:37:00.000-06:00

We received some pretty devastating family news yesterday. Took our breath away. Threw us for a loop. We'll all get through it but it was another reminder to hold dear to what is really important in life. A lot of heartache in the future but if we all remember that everyone who is involved is hurting, we should all make it through relatively unscathed.

On top of this, Mom will (hopefully) have surgery next week for her NPH (Normal Pressure Hydrocephalus). We are crossing all our body parts, killing chickens and burning candles that this helps her. She was misdiagnosed many years ago and a few week ago we found out what was really wrong. Her doctor is hopeful her severe short term memory loss will abate and her gait will return to normal. I am also hoping HOPING that her vision will return. The two things she feared most in life were losing her mind and her vision. She has both. She is miserable. Wants to end it all and not be a burden. She is so smart, witty, loving, intelligent, and well, MOM, and I am sending all my entreaties to the universe in hopes this shunt will bring her back to us and she won't want to leave us. She's young. Her grandchildren need her. I need her.

What is that ball of fire?

2011-06-09T22:09:00.002-06:00

A welcome sight! It's been raining non-stop forfreakingEVER.

This kid is my hero!

2011-06-03T13:38:00.002-06:00

Oooohhhh

2011-05-29T10:42:00.007-06:00

New Donora video!!

All their songs are good and this is one of my favorites.

I still can't formulate my thoughts into words.. (I just typed words into thoughts..sigh) so for now a video is what you all get!

In to or into?

It's into.

Damn my grammar ocd.

Theatrical? What? NO!

2011-05-15T20:43:00.002-06:00

Twelve

2011-05-15T20:09:00.003-06:00

Aviator kids :)

2011-05-14T21:52:00.002-06:00

The view from here..

2011-05-14T13:46:00.002-06:00

Check out the orb in the grass! Hi DAD!!

Killing me!!!

2011-05-13T22:59:00.001-06:00

I'm lying in bed trying to fall asleep and The Husband has made popcorn.

Really.

Damn.

It smells so delicious.

We make it on the stove with coconut oil.

Divine.

Torture.

I should just get up.

I'm really exhausted though.

Week from hell.

Popcorn.

Smells.

Delicious.

Prairie oasis!

2011-05-08T13:21:00.002-06:00

Big sky country indeed!

2011-05-07T12:40:00.001-06:00

Morning on the prairie.

2011-05-07T11:07:00.001-06:00

This made me laugh out loud

2011-05-04T21:48:00.002-06:00

Wugh

2011-05-04T12:39:00.000-06:00

Sometimes wearing your heart on your sleeve is a very bad thing.

All is right with the world..

2011-05-01T11:58:00.001-06:00

My view driving to town..

I see my path

2011-04-30T21:01:00.005-06:00

I see my path
but I do not know
where it leads...
I hope
to encounter myself
on the journey.

(Click to enlarge.. it's worth it :)
From Etsy's LilyMoon

Thank you, Linden, aka, JourneySeeds, for linking to her this shop.

Serene

2011-04-30T10:13:00.001-06:00

Daydreamer's view the other day..

Sent from my mobile via email.. another test!

2011-04-30T09:44:00.003-06:00

This is what I found this morning in the living room :)

2011-04-30T08:46:00.001-06:00

Testing from my mobile..

Scared

2011-04-29T20:57:00.007-06:00

Once again I am reminded about what's important. My sister, DayDreamer, age 40, has had a heart attack.

What the fuck. Seriously.

Age 40.

We have the shittiest genes ever. Fat thighs and bad hearts. GO US!

So ya, you remember that whole "reevaluating your life" thing I did after my health scare? Uh huh.. doing it again.

Family. It's all that matters. That's it.

You have to be healthy. You have to be present. You have to be there.

I have been crying on and off since she called me with the news. I flip between being totally calm and in control to complete hysteria in a split second. I cried all day at work today.

I am so pissed off at my life right now and my shitty financial situation. Some my fault. Some not.

I am feeling extremely guilty.

When I had my health crisis, she dropped EVERYTHING and flew up here immediately to be with me, support me, love me, care for me, watch my kids and tell me everything was going to be ok.

This makes me cry harder than anything else. I can't figure out how to financially afford to get there and stay there for a few weeks without causing even more financial grief to my already shitty situation.

I am so angry with how my life has turned out and right now, none of that should matter. What should matter is that she is ok and alive. But I'm pissed. I'm frustrated.

I'm scared.

Forgotten and remembered

2011-04-09T09:56:00.005-06:00

Dawn’s peaceful, luminous blue,
Intensified with the day
As did happiness,
Blue…bluer…bluest,
White puffs of delight,
Joy overflowing.

Until sunset
Wrapped us in tender pink,
And we fused in a
Passionate magenta goodbye,
Earth-soul and Cosmic-soul
Bursting with beauty.

When night came
A baby moon
Laughed sideways in the dark.
I laughed back
And thought:

Partway across the world
Your sky
Is filled with this same
Golden laughter,
And hoped that you,
Twinkling Blue eyes,
Saw and heard,

So that somehow we three
Were joined in our gladness,
Each in our own space,
Together apart,
Distance meaningless.

And I slept
In a world
Full of smiles.

~Richard Bach

ZOMG! Must.Have.This.

2011-03-27T18:43:00.006-06:00

So, I'm thumbing through my favorite magazine, Vanity Fair, and I come to this ad:
It's for Estee Lauder's new spring lipstick line. I HAVE TO HAVE THIS COLOR! It's called Exotic Orchid and ZOMG I am in love! I have a Macy's gift card burning a whole in my pocket too. YES!

Here's the rest of the spring colors.. so pretty!

I want a bunch of them!

Best.Photographer.Ever

2011-03-19T19:05:00.002-06:00

Ginger Pearl
My friend Ginger and she is AH-MAZING!

I love this..

2011-03-19T10:33:00.003-06:00

HEALTH:
1. Drink plenty of water.
2. Eat breakfast like a king, lunch like a prince and dinner like beggar.
3. Eat more foods that grow on trees and plants and eat less food that is
manufactured in plants.
4. Live with the 3 E’s — Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy.
5. Make time to meditate.
6. (Breathe)
7. Read more books than you did last year.
8. Sit in silence for at least 10 minutes each day.
9. Sleep for 7 hours.
10. Take a 10-30 minute walk daily. And while you walk, smile.

PERSONALITY:
11. Comparing our lives to others is fruitless. We have no idea what their journey is about.
12. Replace negative thoughts with positive ones especially about things out of our control. Invest energy in the positive present moment.
13. Try not to over do. Understand limits.
14. Why take ourselves so seriously. No one else does.
15. Gossip drains precious energy.
16. Dream more while we are awake.
17. Envy is a waste of time. We already have all we need.
18. Forget issues of the past. Let go of our partners mistakes of the past. Focus on our present/future happiness.
19. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone.
20. Make peace with our past so it won’t spoil the present.
21. No one is in charge of our happiness except us.
22. Realize that life is a school and we are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons we learn will last a lifetime.
23. Smile and laugh more.
24. We don’t have to win arguments. It’s ok to agree to disagree.

SOCIETY:
25. Call your family often.
26. Each day give something good to others.
27. Forgive everyone for everything.
28. Spend time with people over the age of 70 and under the age of 6.
29. Try to make at least three people smile each day.
30. What other people think of you is insignificant compared to what you think of yourself.
31. Your job won’t take care of you when you are sick. Your friends & family will. Stay in touch.

LIFE:
32. Do the right thing!
33. Get rid of anything that isn’t useful, beautiful or joyful.
34. (Higher powers) heal everything.
35. However good or bad a situation is, it will change.
36. No matter how we feel, get up, dress up, and show up.
37. The best is yet to come.
38. When we awake alive in the morning, be thankful.
39. Our Inner most is always happy. Release your “Inner Happy” on the world every day!

Whoa!

2011-01-30T19:25:00.003-07:00

Every so often I stumble across an awesome blog. Tonight I found this post 40 Extraordinary Things Happening Right Now on Marc and Angel Hack Life.

Go now and read it.

Go ahead. I'll wait.

I know, right?! Doesn't it give you all sorts of hope? Make you feel all warm and fuzzy?

It does, doesn't it!!

Ok, so, I want you to carry that feeling with you this week and when you're feeling down, go re-read the list. I guarantee you'll feel better.

Change

2011-01-29T09:54:00.002-07:00

My 24 year old showed up at my work yesterday, sat down in my office and had a very serious look on his face. He stared at me for a few seconds and then very quietly said "Don't move." I froze. Eyes huge. He said it again "Don't move." Beginning to panic, I whispered, "Is there a spider on my head?" He said "No. I mean don't move from here. Don't sell the house." I burst out laughing.

His dad must have said something to him that we were thinking of moving. It's just talk between partners, you know? Being a California girl, I miss the warmth and sunshine and while our Montana summers are absolutely gorgeous, this dreary weather that lasts months and months is starting to wear on both of us so we've been kicking around the idea of moving.

Because we live in very rural Montana, we don't earn nearly what we should and we are tired of struggling. We are both in our 40's and need to get rid of some debt, make our lives simpler and enjoy life more. If that means getting higher paying jobs, selling everything and paying off debt, then that's what we will do even if it requires a move. Our younger children will adapt.

The 24 year old doesn't understand any of this though. He asked me "Why don't you ask for a raise?" Again, BURST out laughing. I do that every June during review time. Raises here aren't very big and we take what they give us. I've negotiated some in the past for a bit more, but it's difficult and wearisome. We do have other perks.. I only have to commute 8 miles to work instead of 45 to the big "city" and that long commute during winter weather is often treacherous. I work in the tiny town my kids go to school in. I'm able to take care of things during the day. Eat lunch with them. Eat lunch with my husband. However, as the kids are getting older, their needs are not as demanding so maybe it's time to look around for a higher paying job? Take some of the financial stress out of our life..

My mother taught to always keep my resume up to date because you never know what opportunities will drop in your lap. So we'll send out some resumes and see what happens. Maybe nothing. Maybe something.

Hmmm, well

2011-01-24T19:03:00.003-07:00

I guess I'm doing a fine job raising my children because tonight the 9 year old said: "When I grow up, I'm going to be a Santa in the mall."

A Santa in the mall. Yes, indeedy, folks! He has high aspirations! I guess I can stop worrying about his future. Whew! What a relief!

Do you think in the off season, he'll be the disgruntled guy in the back of the AA meeting?

Ya, thought so.

Zombie Apocalypse

2011-01-15T20:43:00.003-07:00

It's coming.

I've been decluttering today in preparation. If I have to escape, I want to be able to grab stuff without standing there thinking "Shit! What do I take?!?!?!" So, I'm streamlining the process. Whatever I leave behind, the damn zombies can have.

Ok, seriously, I have lived in this house for 10 years.. TEN YEARS people! This is the longest, in my 41 and a half years that I have lived in the EXACT SAME PLACE. It's killing me. I'm antsy. I don't do antsy very well. Causes me all sorts of trouble.

How the hell did I get so much shit? And a lot of it is just that: Shit. It's everywhere.. crammed in drawers, closets, the basement. I had a mini anxiety attack thinking about the attic. Holy hell!

And I can't even discuss the shit The Husband has stashed everywhere. WAAAAAAAY more shit than me. I figure he's on his own though, when the zombies show up.

Anyway, I've somehow managed to accumulate all this stuff. I don't want it anymore but when I started going through stuff I was having a hard time wanting to ditch it. What is up with that? Usually I'm ruthless and pitch shit I probably should keep!

So, I gave up for today. Had a bowl of ice cream and watched Dexter. I think Dexter would be handy to have around during the Zombie Apocalypse.

Dear Dad,

2011-01-06T19:14:00.007-07:00

Just wanted to write you a quick note and catch you up on everything here. AJB, 14 now and taller than me, is doing much better in school this year. He starts high school next year, so I am relieved. He is bright but hates to be in school. Sound familiar? He loves his drums and spends many hours practicing. He can't read music but plays by ear and does very well. He's not playing any sports this year. He is still a little gun shy from that broken femur. His sport this year is torturing his siblings! He is very funny and witty and has your quick wit and sense of humor. He also has your blue eyes and is very handsome.

HRB is 11 and in the 6th grade. Straight A's just like me. She loves school and always looks for a challenge. She is also very bright and she wants to be a forensic doctor and solve murders. Scary how her mind works so we say either a forensic doctor or a serial killer! She plays piano and flute and enjoys both but gets some peer pressure from her friends to give it up. She has a good head on her shoulders though, and is able to stick to her guns with a little guidance from us. She is beautiful, Dad.. I wish you could see her. Sometimes when I catch a glimpse of her out the window, I think it's Daydreamer.

SDB is 9, in the 4th grade and the icing on my cake. He is a charmer and has the dimples and good looks to back it up! He never, I mean NEVER sits still unless he is passed out cold sound asleep. I would kill for an ounce of his energy. He is solid as a rock too! He has the same wit as the other two. You should have dinner with us.. it's Comedy Hour and we continually laugh throughout our meals. I leave the dinner table every night with a heart full of love and laughter. He is left handed like you and many of his mannerisms remind me of you.

I am hanging in there. Feeling much better since they took out that stupid tumor. Still working at the bank, trying to get ahead. Feeling a little mid-life crisis-ish and restless and unsettled. I wish I could sit down and talk with you. The other day, I was trying to remember what your voice sounded like and was having a hard time recalling it. I miss you so much. Not a single day goes by where I don't think about you. I love you..

Daughter Number One,
Cassandra
JHT 7/19/40 - 1/7/02

Oh ya! Happy 2011!

2011-01-01T11:41:00.004-07:00

So let's wrap up 2010 shall we?

2010-12-28T22:10:00.002-07:00

I did a lot of

laughing :)
drinking :-)
playing :)
partying :-)
talking :)
reconnecting <3
working :(
drinking :)
relaxing :)
exercising :\
drinking :)
reading :)
worrying :(
contemplating :|
fantasizing ;)
dreaming :)
scheming 8-)

Most importantly, I did a lot of living and enjoying!

And really, I should have added drinking a few dozen more times, but didn't want to seem like a lush.

Wow!

2010-12-19T09:34:00.003-07:00

Ok, so, I guess I won't take down my blog! I'd sort of hidden it for a few days because I was feeling overwhelmed. I'd read through old archives and I was funny and interesting! Now, not so much. I've just been tossing up a small post every once in a while or a video. So anyway, felt badly that I don't have the time to keep up with it.

Feeling so very overwhelmed with everything right now. Not enough time in the day. Ever. Feeling drained and tired. Not sleeping enough. Blahblahblah.

So thank you to everyone who emailed me. I didn't realize I had a following. Reader only shows like 15 people. But you know, it's all about the fans dahling!

Happy Birthday Daydreamer!

2010-12-11T01:01:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday to my very best friend..

This is your 40th year and I know it's going to be your best one yet! You are on the cusp of greatness. I wish you all the best and I predict your year will be filled with lots of laughter, love, serenity, hope and peace.

I love you more than anything.

Random facts about me

2010-11-25T18:36:00.002-07:00

I don't own sweatpants and I own exactly one t-shirt.

I've never been arrested and I've never gotten a traffic ticket.

I have an almost irrational phobia about fire, specifically, my house catching fire.

Same with earthquakes.. irrational fear which is one of the reasons I left LA.

I could lie in the dark listening to music for hours.

My sister is my dearest friend and closest confidante and I want to be just like her when I grow up.

In the summer, sometimes the grass is so green I almost ache when I look at it and can't help but walk through it barefoot.

The ocean makes me weep.. the sound, scent, feel.. I mostly love the feeling of my feet firmly planted in the sand with the tide pulling back and the water rushing over them.. I can feel it pulling the tension out of my body.

The biggest reason I left LA was to escape a crazy ex-boyfriend. Unfortunately I also left behind a few dear friends.

I worry I will die before I can read all the books I want to read.

I have had 2 recurring dreams since I was a child. I am also a prophetic dreamer and am pretty sure one of my childhood recurring dreams is a prophecy of some sort.

I also have extremely lucid dreams and have trained myself to be an active participant and can influence the dream's outcome without waking up.

I don't like mushy fruit and don't like fruit pies.

My favorite dessert is fresh fruit. I don't need whipped cream, sugar or Grand Marnier sauce. I love it plain. I could live on fruit.

I've never met a potato I didn't like.

I have a horrible memory.

My intuition has never been wrong and I always listen to it.

I don't like sauces or butter on my vegetables. I like to steam or roast them with a little salt and pepper.

I sometimes feel trapped but would never abandon my family.

I love documentaries and independent movies.

Holidays depress me. I miss the big dinners we had with friends when I was a child/young adult/late teen.

My toenails are always painted.

I have supersonic hearing and my kids hate it.

I believe in ghosts.

Hmmm, ok..

2010-11-21T21:24:00.003-07:00

So, I've been thinking. I read an article today about how (mostly) women complain in order to connect with each other.

Whoa!

I am guilty of the exact thing! I try not to do it, but it happens. It can be an innocuous complaint.. it's cold outside.. the traffic was terrible.. etc. It's an effortless way to connect. Everyone can relate when you bitch about these things! We relate = we connect.

But why be so negative? Negativity breeds negativity, right? I am fairly good at diffusing the Negative Nelly at work.. everything she complains about, I retort with a positive reply. I simply don't allow myself to get sucked in. Well, that and I just walk off and ignore her HA!

So why then, do I complain in order to connect and often with a total stranger?! Way to put my best foot forward! How do I stop even when my intentions are good?

I think the next time someone bitches to me about the weather or the slow service, I will smile and compliment them on their sweater, hat, hair, etc. I'm pretty sure they will give me the WTF look, but hey, it'll be worth it!

This won't be easy, however! My favorite complaint in the world right now is how unseasonably cold it is and the snow! It will take work, but I think I can do it.

Challenge extended! Challenge accepted!

A peek inside my soul..

2010-11-14T15:13:00.001-07:00

A Warm Embrace - The Great Bell Chant (The End of Suffering) from R Smittenaar on Vimeo.

These are my people

2010-11-11T19:38:00.002-07:00

Watch this. After you've watched this trailer, go to Netflix and stream the movie. You can thank me later.

180° SOUTH from Mark Kalch on Vimeo.

Wanderlust is alive and well within me.

I know some of you are thinking "WHAT the HELL is wrong with you woman???????"

I know.. I know..

I LOVE to travel.. I love luxurious hotels, cruise ships, crisp white sheets, no bugs, super soft towels, room service, running water..

This movie makes me want to pitch all that out the window.

These are my people.

Seriously.

I am evil

2010-10-18T19:54:00.002-06:00

So, my daughter comes to me last night and says "I think my boobs are growing." She's 11. She continues, "well, only ONE side is growing." Without looking up from my book I say "Well darling, that's why we have plastic surgeons."

Therapy by 14!

YES!

Halloween costumes

2010-10-16T09:55:00.002-06:00

Ok, in my house, this is how it works: My kids make their own costumes out of stuff we already have lying around or they cut pieces of cardboard, use tinfoil, tubes, etc., to create awesomeness! I'm always amazed at what my kids come up with.

Well, my eldest, age 24, had the "Littles" with him last night on an outing to town. They stopped at a party supply store to get his girlfriend's son a costume.

A store bought costume.

You see where this is going, right?

Yep, the eldest bought the youngest a costume. An entire costume in a bag. A Ninja in a bag to be exact.

A Ninja.

In a bag.

The youngest needs no help becoming a Ninja because he thinks he was born a Ninja. He is convinced he already has Ninja DNA and the reason we can't see it is because it's so stealthy.

Anywho, back to the buying of an entire costume thing..

Uhhhhh, we don't do that. They don't even know that sort of thing exists!!! Well, they didn't until last night. Sigh. Now I have to ~~brainwash~~ reprogram the youngest.

COOL!

2010-10-15T08:54:00.001-06:00

SHELTER from jason sussberg on Vimeo.

S'up bitches!

2010-10-15T07:56:00.006-06:00

Today is the last day of my ~~week of drinking before noon~~ vacation.

I know! SAD!!! ~~devastating, really.. I might fling myself off the roof at the very thought of having to put on a pair of pantyhose~~

I've done ~~nothing~~ SO much this week! Crossed a whole bunch of ~~nothing~~ stuff off my to-do list.

What do you mean "Like what??"

I'll tell you what!

I've ~~napped every day, sometimes twice~~ run a marathon!

I've worked really hard around the house ~~shoved dirty laundry in the closet~~ and it sparkles ~~hey dummy, that's the bag of glitter you dumped on the floor~~

Every day, I've made ~~popcorn corn and Bloody Mary's for lunch~~ nutritious treats for my family.

I've had ~~leftovers, take-out, cold cereal~~ home cooked meals every night too!
I've caught up on my reading of great works of literature ~~twitter~~

Well anyway, there is a ton more to list ~~damn liar~~ but I won't bore you ~~why not.. you bore us with all the other mundane details about your life~~ with all that.

I hope you all have a great weekend! I'll be ~~drunk by noon~~ working ~~eating Advil like it's candy~~ outside in the yard and enjoying the crisp ~~begging for someone to take me to an oxygen bar to help cure the hangover~~ fall air.

Old fashioned texting!

2010-10-14T08:45:00.001-06:00

I love this!

Ribbons from Brodie Rocca on Vimeo.

Fire in the sky

2010-10-13T07:39:00.004-06:00

You truly need to click on it to see it larger so you can appreciate the beauty :)

Overheard

2010-10-11T07:48:00.003-06:00

Smiling Gene Kelly (age 9) to Kerri Strug (age 11):

Wait for it..

It's good..

Ready?

"Hey! Wanna throw marbles at my face again?"

Really?

Again???

AGAIN???

So I had this dream..

2010-10-10T08:13:00.004-06:00

Nightmare really..

Somehow I went to Canada.

Lethbridge, AB to be exact.

Boarded a cruise ship.

Forgot our passports.

Forgot our cruise docs.

And.

*gasp*

Forgot my dress shoes for my fancy sparkly evening gown.

*faint*

I know.

Something must be terribly wrong with me.

Forgot my SHOES? For my super fancy dress?

No way.

Never.

Forgetting the passports?

Sure.

Forgetting to do the online check in on RCCL?

Ok.

Forgetting the cruise docs?

Perhaps.

But the shoes?

NO. EFFING. WAY.

Just doesn't happen in my world.

Like, not ever.

And may I also point out that I was embarking from LETHBRIDGE, ALBERTA.

Lethbridge is LANDLOCKED people.

No port.

WTF?

I know.

So, let's analyze.

Or not.

I got nothin'.

Maybe to rectify this horrible, horrible nightmare I should book a cruise?

Might be the only way, really, for me to overcome the horror of this dream.

My shoes?

NEVER!

I love this..

2010-10-03T21:28:00.002-06:00

Variation On the Word Sleep
Margaret Atwood

I would like to watch you sleeping,
which may not happen.
I would like to watch you,
sleeping. I would like to sleep
with you, to enter
your sleep as its smooth dark wave
slides over my head

and walk with you through that lucent
wavering forest of bluegreen leaves
with its watery sun & three moons
towards the cave where you must descend,
towards your worst fear

I would like to give you the silver
branch, the small white flower, the one
word that will protect you
from the grief at the center
of your dream, from the grief
at the center. I would like to follow
you up the long stairway
again & become
the boat that would row you back
carefully, a flame
in two cupped hands
to where your body lies
beside me, and you enter
it as easily as breathing in

I would like to be the air
that inhabits you for a moment
only. I would like to be that unnoticed
& that necessary.

Bwahahahaha

2010-10-03T14:37:00.003-06:00

I need therapy

2010-09-25T10:17:00.009-06:00

Ok, so, the other night I dreamt of pigs in a blanket. You know, hot dogs wrapped in crescent rolls.

And

They

Were

DANCING

The more I think about this, the more I laugh. Clearly, I need therapy. Or something.

Here's what my dream book says:

HOT DOG -- to see or eat a hot dog in your dream, is phallic symbol representing masculinity, sexual energy and vigor

CRESCENT ROLL indicates that you are lacking some affection or love in your life. There is a void waiting to be filled.

Ummmm, so, ok.. huh.. my friends might say that I, um, already have a lot uh, energy and there is a lot of affection and love in my life. Not sure what's going on in my brain..

I was going to be Flo the Progressive girl for Halloween but maybe I should wear this instead

And how about a moonrise for Daydreamer

2010-09-24T21:26:00.002-06:00

9/24/10 Harvest Moon!

9/23/10 Sunrise for Daydreamer

2010-09-23T19:12:00.005-06:00

Sunrise on the prairie just for you

Eye'm All Puckered Up

Pretzels!

Serious stuff

How I spent my weekend

lazy

Worn out

Stuff

Heheh

For my mommy!

The best sugar cookie EVER!

Tonight's sunset

Ten years

Yummmmm

Fun!

Upside Down Boy. Lounging Princess. Neon Drummer.

Giant

Artisan bread!

Sweet girl makes cakes too

1/1/12 new year meme

So, I've been reading

Happy National Cupcake Day!

YES!

Daydreamer

Delightful!

Happiness Revealed

Bon Iver - Holocene

Dreams & Things

Serene

I love this..

OOhhh WANT!!

Patience

BWAHAHAHAHA LOLOLOLOL OMFG

Love this

LOVE

My heart..

Today..

Serendipity

*swoon*

Mmmmmm

Mad photography skillz

Happiness

Today, August 11th

On this day

Home Improvement = Life Improvement

Tizer Gardens

ingenuity

Stop-stop boots

Serene

I should be worried..

Big brain!

Life

What is that ball of fire?

This kid is my hero!

Oooohhhh

Theatrical? What? NO!

Twelve

Aviator kids :)

The view from here..

Killing me!!!

Prairie oasis!

Big sky country indeed!

Morning on the prairie.

This made me laugh out loud

Wugh

All is right with the world..

I see my path

Serene

Sent from my mobile via email.. another test!

Scared

Forgotten and remembered

ZOMG! Must.Have.This.

Best.Photographer.Ever

I love this..

Whoa!

Change

Hmmm, well

Zombie Apocalypse

Dear Dad,

Oh ya! Happy 2011!

So let's wrap up 2010 shall we?

swoon